If you're not familiar with the Fast and Furious franchise, shame on you. I'm kidding. If you're familiar with it the clip below shows Dom toasting to family. The camera pans to show everyone he's talking to, only one of them is he biologically related to, the others are the family he chooses, aka, his friends. It's one of my favorite scenes in all of these movies.
"Money will come and go, we know that. But the most important thing in life will always be the people in this room right here, right now. Salute mi familia."
I love this for so many reasons. First, I love F & F movies. I really do. I'm anxious to see the new one, but yet sad because Paul Walker won't be in it - but it's F&F, so I'll see it!
I love this clip because they are so close and have been for years. Yes, it's a movie - of course it looks good. But that's why I watch movies, to be entertained - not for true to life. Actually, Paul Walker, Vin Diesel and Tyrone Gibson are (were) really good friends in real life. And I love that. I love that they have/had such an incredible bond. When Vin and Paul made the first movie, they started out by not getting along so well. But as time went on, they became super close. Yes, they had their ups and downs, but at the end of the day, they were still tight. Still "brothers" - so much so that Vin named is last child after Paul and has commented several times that his twin brother looks more like Paul than him. They were brothers in the truest sense - something not everyone can understand.
For a lot of years I was raised as an only child by a single mom. I have one brother, who chose to live with our father when I was 10. So for 10+ years it was just me and my mom. I had a great group of friends my freshman year of high school who hung out at my house more than their own. My mom didn't mind. If everyone was at our house, at least she knew where I was and my friends parents knew where their kids were. It worked out great! Too bad our tight knit group didn't last. Shocker, right! My point is that I relied on my friends to be my siblings. I relied on my friends to be that confident that other families shared with their siblings.
I've had a lot of friends through the years. Some I have absolutely no idea where they are or what happened to them. Some I'm still in acquaintance with (thank you Facebook!) I am not close with any of my high school friends and I envy those who say they have been friends since high school or before. And I REALLY envy those who are close to their siblings. My brother and I tolerate each other - we are adults after all, but we are not close.
When I married I'd hoped I'd gained 3 sisters, but that is not the case. We are not friends. We don't chat and giggle often. We don't share experiences. We have common ground, but that's about it. They are not bad people. We just don't have much in common. Our thought processes are different. Don't get me wrong. Family get togethers aren't awkward or uncomfortable and we are all nice to each other and I even have some great conversations with them. But after we go our separate ways we likely won't speak until we see each other again.
Years ago (2005 to be exact) I met who would eventually become my sister by choice. Val and I met at a Relief Society activity. (For those who don't belong to my church, Relief Society is a group in our church for women over the age of 18. The name dates back to the 1800's when the organization was first formed. It was to give relief to those in need. The needs for this women's group have changed through the years, but the name stuck. If you'd like more of an explanation, let me know. :) At this activity there was a lady showing us some "simple" yoga moves. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm cut out for yoga. It just didn't work for me and Val thought it was hilarious - thus starting our friendship.
From there we started walking in the mornings and during that time we talked - a lot! And here we are, years later, still friends. I don't think I've been this good of friends with anybody for this length of time. Val is one of the best people I know and I continue to be grateful for her. She is a fine example of forgiveness and goodness, Christlike and humble, sweet and caring, thoughtful and kind. My life has been deeply blessed and overly enriched because of our friendship.
A few years ago, I met another friend. She describes us as kindred spirits and I couldn't agree more. Though Pam lives hundreds of miles away, I still consider her one of my best friends but I'm not gonna lie, I wish we were closer. When I talk with her it's as if there hasn't been weeks since we've talked and we talk and talk and talk - usually 2 hours or more! Sadly, we just don't talk that often. Over the past year, I feel us drifting and that makes me incredibly sad - so sad, it brings tears to my eyes to even consider it, much less type it! There is so much in life that ebbs and flows - even in friendship. And she and I are both mom's and are both busy with our won lives. I just wish I felt like I was a little higher up on her ladder of priorities. Because Pam is such an amazing person, so very Christlike, so considerate of others, so caring, so tender, so sensitive, so loving I KNOW she does not intentionally make me feel this way. I know that I am making this bigger than it is. I get that we rarely see each other. I get that she has a life at home, church, family. I get that I don't always get how much she has going on. I do. It's the same way with me. But because of all of this, I try to text every few days - but I feel like I'm bugging her. I feel like she answers with a "have to" reply. And that right there scares me to tears. I never want to be annoying. I want to be friends forever :)
I have a history of being "too much." I'm a giver - I give things and I'm happy to do it. I like to do things for others. I like making things for them. I'd rather watch people open gifts than open them myself. Because of this, I tend to give too much, do too much, be too much. I know that can be overwhelming to my friends. And I'm trying to be better, I really am. I don't do it because I want the same in return. I do it because that's who I am. It thrills me to no end when someone is thoughtful enough to send me a pressed penny (a total of $.51 before shipping) just because they know I collect them. I jump for joy inside when someone wears a bracelet or earrings (or whatever) I gave them and sends me a pic to let me know. That lets me know they like it and they thought enough of about me to let me know. I like the tiny things that let me know they like me. That this friendship isn't just coming from me. That they want it too.
Isn't that what we all want? Reaffirmation? Assurance? Security?
I am fortunate. I have great, amazing, special, kind loving friends. I have wonderful, kind acquaintances. There are those who don't have that. There are those who don't know what it's like to cry on a friends shoulder. There are those who don't know what it's like to call on a friend when you need. There are those who don't know what it's like to be the shoulder to cry on, the call when in need. I have. Friends are the family you choose and I'm glad I choose great ones!!!
