I'm weird. I freely admit that. Sometimes, I'm weirder than others. But I am most definitely weird! Sometimes that weirdness rubs off onto my kids and most of the time they don't realize they are being weird, but one day they will all too aware of their weirdness.
I quote movies and TV shows. Noodle does this a lot too, Lewlew does it some and Buddy just says "what does this remind you of?" and then tells me what movie he was thinking about.
"Friends" is highly quotable. As far as movies, "Steel Magnolia's" "The Help" "The Blind Side" "Fried Green Tomatoes" and almost any Disney movie. I realize two of these chick flicks are old. But it's awesome when someone knows what movie you're quoting.
For a couple of years, when I drop the kids off at school, I'd say my little mantra. "Have a good day, be safe, make wise choices, learn something!" The 'Learn Something' comes from the Blind Side and that was the one part that I liked to yell. It embarrassed Noodle. ;)
This year my favorite is, "Have a good day, be safe, make wise choices, Cross your ankles! I love ya!" The last 2 come from the movie "The Help". In the clip, Skeeter is going on her first date in a long time. They live in Mississippi so it's hot and humid and Skeeter's hair stays to it's natural curliness. Her mom ordered a machine to help straighten Skeeter's hair. They are both pretty surprised with the turn out. However, doing Skeeter's hair took longer than expected so she was running late. As she's running to get in the truck, her mom is yelling out dating tips. The part that I quote is at about second 50 to 1.00. Take a look.... (I think you'll have to click on the Youtube link to view it.)
The clip goes on to show that date - something Noodle quotes quite often and even to kids at school. ("Were you dropped on your head as an infant or are you always this way?" she substitutes "stupid.")
Anywho....nearly every morning I say my little mantra and the girls always join in at the cross your ankles part.
When we are in a store and Noodle knows I'm close she won't call out "Mom?" because she says there are too many mom's. So her new name for me is Sandrine. And believe it or not, it works. I hear "Sandrine???" and I know that's Noodle. :) That came from the "Friends" episode where Rachel and Ross are choosing names for their baby.
We are weird but I don't mind because we laugh, a lot, and if it takes being weird to have as much laughter as we have, then I'll take it!!
***Warning*** I'm feeling unrationaly over-emotional and sensitive right now. That may or may not affect a post on a subject that is near and dear to me. You have been warned.
If you're not familiar with the Fast and Furious franchise, shame on you. I'm kidding. If you're familiar with it the clip below shows Dom toasting to family. The camera pans to show everyone he's talking to, only one of them is he biologically related to, the others are the family he chooses, aka, his friends. It's one of my favorite scenes in all of these movies.
"Money will come and go, we know that. But the most important thing in life will always be the people in this room right here, right now. Salute mi familia."
I love this for so many reasons. First, I love F & F movies. I really do. I'm anxious to see the new one, but yet sad because Paul Walker won't be in it - but it's F&F, so I'll see it!
I love this clip because they are so close and have been for years. Yes, it's a movie - of course it looks good. But that's why I watch movies, to be entertained - not for true to life. Actually, Paul Walker, Vin Diesel and Tyrone Gibson are (were) really good friends in real life. And I love that. I love that they have/had such an incredible bond. When Vin and Paul made the first movie, they started out by not getting along so well. But as time went on, they became super close. Yes, they had their ups and downs, but at the end of the day, they were still tight. Still "brothers" - so much so that Vin named is last child after Paul and has commented several times that his twin brother looks more like Paul than him. They were brothers in the truest sense - something not everyone can understand.
For a lot of years I was raised as an only child by a single mom. I have one brother, who chose to live with our father when I was 10. So for 10+ years it was just me and my mom. I had a great group of friends my freshman year of high school who hung out at my house more than their own. My mom didn't mind. If everyone was at our house, at least she knew where I was and my friends parents knew where their kids were. It worked out great! Too bad our tight knit group didn't last. Shocker, right! My point is that I relied on my friends to be my siblings. I relied on my friends to be that confident that other families shared with their siblings.
I've had a lot of friends through the years. Some I have absolutely no idea where they are or what happened to them. Some I'm still in acquaintance with (thank you Facebook!) I am not close with any of my high school friends and I envy those who say they have been friends since high school or before. And I REALLY envy those who are close to their siblings. My brother and I tolerate each other - we are adults after all, but we are not close.
When I married I'd hoped I'd gained 3 sisters, but that is not the case. We are not friends. We don't chat and giggle often. We don't share experiences. We have common ground, but that's about it. They are not bad people. We just don't have much in common. Our thought processes are different. Don't get me wrong. Family get togethers aren't awkward or uncomfortable and we are all nice to each other and I even have some great conversations with them. But after we go our separate ways we likely won't speak until we see each other again.
Years ago (2005 to be exact) I met who would eventually become my sister by choice. Val and I met at a Relief Society activity. (For those who don't belong to my church, Relief Society is a group in our church for women over the age of 18. The name dates back to the 1800's when the organization was first formed. It was to give relief to those in need. The needs for this women's group have changed through the years, but the name stuck. If you'd like more of an explanation, let me know. :) At this activity there was a lady showing us some "simple" yoga moves. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm cut out for yoga. It just didn't work for me and Val thought it was hilarious - thus starting our friendship.
From there we started walking in the mornings and during that time we talked - a lot! And here we are, years later, still friends. I don't think I've been this good of friends with anybody for this length of time. Val is one of the best people I know and I continue to be grateful for her. She is a fine example of forgiveness and goodness, Christlike and humble, sweet and caring, thoughtful and kind. My life has been deeply blessed and overly enriched because of our friendship.
A few years ago, I met another friend. She describes us as kindred spirits and I couldn't agree more. Though Pam lives hundreds of miles away, I still consider her one of my best friends but I'm not gonna lie, I wish we were closer. When I talk with her it's as if there hasn't been weeks since we've talked and we talk and talk and talk - usually 2 hours or more! Sadly, we just don't talk that often. Over the past year, I feel us drifting and that makes me incredibly sad - so sad, it brings tears to my eyes to even consider it, much less type it! There is so much in life that ebbs and flows - even in friendship. And she and I are both mom's and are both busy with our won lives. I just wish I felt like I was a little higher up on her ladder of priorities. Because Pam is such an amazing person, so very Christlike, so considerate of others, so caring, so tender, so sensitive, so loving I KNOW she does not intentionally make me feel this way. I know that I am making this bigger than it is. I get that we rarely see each other. I get that she has a life at home, church, family. I get that I don't always get how much she has going on. I do. It's the same way with me. But because of all of this, I try to text every few days - but I feel like I'm bugging her. I feel like she answers with a "have to" reply. And that right there scares me to tears. I never want to be annoying. I want to be friends forever :)
I have a history of being "too much." I'm a giver - I give things and I'm happy to do it. I like to do things for others. I like making things for them. I'd rather watch people open gifts than open them myself. Because of this, I tend to give too much, do too much, be too much. I know that can be overwhelming to my friends. And I'm trying to be better, I really am. I don't do it because I want the same in return. I do it because that's who I am. It thrills me to no end when someone is thoughtful enough to send me a pressed penny (a total of $.51 before shipping) just because they know I collect them. I jump for joy inside when someone wears a bracelet or earrings (or whatever) I gave them and sends me a pic to let me know. That lets me know they like it and they thought enough of about me to let me know. I like the tiny things that let me know they like me. That this friendship isn't just coming from me. That they want it too.
Isn't that what we all want? Reaffirmation? Assurance? Security?
I am fortunate. I have great, amazing, special, kind loving friends. I have wonderful, kind acquaintances. There are those who don't have that. There are those who don't know what it's like to cry on a friends shoulder. There are those who don't know what it's like to call on a friend when you need. There are those who don't know what it's like to be the shoulder to cry on, the call when in need. I have. Friends are the family you choose and I'm glad I choose great ones!!!
After one of the most laid back summers we have ever had, the kids went back to school yesterday. We spent most of Thursday school hopping to get them ready.
First we went to Noodle's school so she could get her schedule and set up her locker. We were hoping by doing this we could by-pass her Back to School night. No such luck. We got her schedule, set up her locker and then we were off - only to return a few hours later.
Then the kids and I met with Buddy's school counselor and she showed us (most importantly, Buddy) where all of his classes are and we were able to meet several of his teachers. That was nice for him. To be able to see the school, his classes with a much smaller group. He didn't like it and barely spoke, but we made it through.
From there we stopped to the kids could get some fro-yo and then dropped Lew off at Bret's office so he could take her to Back to School night at her school. Buddy and Noodle went with me for a quick dash to Wal-Mart.
See the lighted chandelier? Crazy!
I dropped Buddy off at home with instructions to start dinner and I took Noodle back to school for Back to School night - so she could meet her teachers and find out if there is anything else she needs for school. We made sure her lighted chandelier is working properly and that everything (her locker shelf, mirror, white board, markers, trash can, animal crackers, Dr. Pepper) in her locker was all set. Finally we were able to go home.
It was a crazy day.
You can tell who's not in the best mood!
Sunday night, Buddy had a bit of anxiety, but went to sleep fairly well. Monday morning came - too early imho, and everyone got ready for the big day. We took pics and Bret was able to walk Buddy (across the street) to school. They parted ways at the front door of the school and Buddy went into class. On his lunch break, he called, Bret, my mom and me. Poor guy. When he got home, he rushed to give me a solid hug. He didn't cry (which surprised me) but it was obvious that it wasn't an easy day for him. He said it was really different and scary. I'm so glad that he recognized it wasn't bad, it was just different. A change. But dang. My heart hurt for him. I just wanted to cry for him. I just want to do it for him. I just want some things to be easy for him. I fear he will struggle his entire life. And I just want there to be enough good that he can get through the bad. I just want him to see the good. Realize there are worse things, people in worse shape, etc. But oh how my heart aches for him.
Noodle, of course, had a terrific day! She said it was as if she'd never had a summer break. Everything was the same. Guess junior high has lost some of it's luster. Last year she had so many classes with so many familiar faces. Apparently there are more options for 8th graders because she has hardly any classes with friends - which is good because it gives her the opportunity to make new (and I hope) better friends. She has friends and she's a likable girl, she just longs for that one. Ya know? That one who is her bestie. That one that is there no matter what. That one she calls/texts everything to. That one. I remember wanting that as well. While I had some great friends it took me 30 years to find that one. (not including my husband). And several years after that to find another. Don't get me wrong. I had friends through school. And my freshman year, I had that one. And I had another one my junior year and sorta my senior year. And today, I barely keep up with them through FB and Christmas Cards, if we're lucky. And I realize that happens in life. But I'd love for all of my kids to have that one, now, while they're in school. But sometimes when you're looking too hard, you miss what is right in front of you.
Lewlew had a great day as well. She's decided that maybe her teacher won't be so bad after all. Her new teacher is obsessed with Harry Potter and Lew has never even seen the movies, much less read the books. And her teacher also has a doctorate and insists on being called Dr. instead of Ms. or Mrs. So that's weird to her. But she's got some familiar faces in her class and I hope she too can find a really good friend who wants to be her friend as much as Lew want her to be - if that makes sense.
School is such a difficult time for kids - and you never know what is going on when school is not in session. I just read on FB that a girl I went to HS with - who I thought had it going on, was totally cool and stuff - hated school. Cried nearly everyday after school. I had no idea. I always thought she had it all pulled together. School is one of those necessary evils. We all had (or have) to do it and my kids will survive and be better because of it. But still, it's hard to send your sweet kids to the harsh, cold, cruel world of school. That's why it's important for us as parents, to make home a soft, warm, sweet place. A place where chores and homework still must be done. (Blast it all!)
We left Thursday night to go to our family cabin a little over an hour away. We invited Val and Tom to go with us. Tom couldn't come up until Saturday morning, but Val was having none of that so she drove up with us. We stopped Htown on our way and got dinner to take with us. Once we got there, we quickly unloaded everything, put the cold things in the fridge, put on a movie and ate while we watched to movie.
On Friday morning, we ate breakfast, lazed around, got dressed at our leisure and watched movies. In the afternoon, Val, Noodle, Lewlew and I went into Ktown. We needed to get just a few things, potatoes, Dr. Pepper, etc. On our way we stopped at a yard sale. Lew found a karaoke machine for $8, Noodle found a plaster Ape that she got for Bret for $.25, Val got an animal print bag and a table for her daughter. So then she had to call Tom and tell him to either clean out the back of their 4-Runner or bring up a trailer. When she told him that she and I went yard saling, his response was a sarcastic, "Ho-ly Sh*!" We laughed!
We got back to the cabin, fixed hamburgers, corn on the cob, pasta salad and chips for dinner and watched more movies.
Saturday Bret took Buddy fishing. They caught 14 fish!! He said they lost track of who caught how many. Last year, Bret caught 3 and Buddy caught 9. That is a great fishing hole, though I wish the fish were a bit bigger. Bret fixed a few for Tom, Buddy and himself and we froze the rest to have at home.
Tom got there and fixed us breakfast. Oh, his hash browns are so dang yummy! Oh, my goodness, they were good! Then we watched movies, napped, watched movies, snacked, watched movies, ate taco soup for dinner, watched movies and then went to bed.
Sunday we got up and had left overs for breakfast watched one last movie, packed up, cleaned the cabin and drove home.
All of us - including Dusty!
The temperatures were cool - not too hot during the day and cool at night. The company was perfect. The kids got along. The movies were good. The relaxation was awesome! We love going to the cabin and are so grateful for it. There are many who are not as fortunate. We were glad our friends were able to come up with us. They came with us years ago, but I'll have to look in my scrapbook for the date, but I think it was 2011. We'd love to be able to go again before snow flies - so here's hoping!
I don't know how long this will last, or how frequent it will happen, but I've decided to blog again. If for no other reason than to journal things in our lives. I'll be making changes and updating some things on the blog in the next little while as time allows. So here we go!
On July 25 my MIL passed away after being in the ICU for 2 weeks. She had been sick for quite a while, but not that sick. She really went down hill the last 6 weeks, but still. She'd seen her doc 3 times and there was no definite answers. Once in the ICU, tests were done and they found an abscess in her abdomen 13 cm in diameter. If she didn't have surgery, the infection would take her life. If she did have surgery, she a) may not make it through b) would definitely have a very long slow recovery c) she would likely not recover to what she was pre-downhill slope. Eric opted for the surgery. So 2 days after she went into the ICU she had surgery. 4 days later, they closed the incision. By this point she'd been in ICU for 1 week. Through the next week, there were many ups and downs. It was very emotionally draining. Her good days were so far from what was actually "good" that to call them good days should have been more appropriately called a fraction better than yesterday.
During this time Mandi came in from Virginia. She stayed with Eric and was a help to him. Bret went to the hospital every day during his lunch and many times after work. I joined him a couple of times. On Sunday morning - after 2 weeks - the docs sat Eric and Mandi down to give them the not good details. There was another scan on Mary and they found *another abscess - which would require surgery. During the scan *blood clots were found in all 4 of her extremities and never in 30 years of doing this has the doc seen that nor had he seen as *many blood clots. Since surgery, over a week ago, they haven't been able to get Mary off the *respirator. Her *kidneys were failing and she'd very soon need dialysis. Things looked very grim.
After much thought and consideration, Eric opted to discontinue any and all life saving devises and meds. He and the kids decided it would happen the following morning. On that Sunday a nurse asked Mary if she knew where she was. She nodded yes. He asked her if she knew how sick she was. She nodded yes. Then he asked her if she was afraid to die, she nodded no.
On Monday morning, Eric spent an hour with her before the kids showed up. The respirator and all meds were removed and they waited. She was slightly "with it." Sort of opening her eyes. However, most of the time Bret said he didn't think she knew they were there. But there were brief moments that he said she definitely knew what was going on. Not exactly how you plan these things. When machines are turned off, the patient is supposed to be out of it or in a significant amount of pain. So this was more difficult.
After 5 1/2 hours, her heart beat for the last time and she exhaled her last breath. Finally, she was at ease. Finally she was at peace. But oh the heart ache that was left behind.
I didn't have a great relationship with Mary. I loved her as Bret's mom, as my children's grandmother. So the emotion I felt wasn't necessarily for me, but for my dear husband, our kids, Eric, for Taina's kids - who just a couple of weeks earlier lost their grandpa. And oh, did my husband mourn the loss of his mom. He still does.
Just last night we spent the evening at Big Springs (up the canyon) in remembrance of Grandma Ruth Tuttle's birthday. It's really an excuse for the family to get together. Once in the car on the way home, Bret admitted how odd it felt not having his mom there and knowing she just wasn't at home, ill. And he was right. It was odd seeing Eric alone. It's just 1 more thing to have to get used to.
Grief is a strange duck. It comes up when we least expect it. And I suspect I'll be seeing more of it as the time goes on. My heart continues to ache as I don't know how to best help my Love. I guess there really isn't anything, just be there, support and listen.
That's all for now. I have several topics on my mind that I will hopefully get to in the near future.
Best wishes to all!
